Episode 27 - Spiritual Listening - Listening with your Heart

0:08 Welcome, you are listening to the podcast A Resident Life produced by the Time is Now Productions. I am Mike Thompson, your host and Reflector in Chief. In this podcast, we will discuss experiences and insights from living a life devoted to uncovering the authentic self and finding fulfilling purpose from the past, the present, and the future. This podcast is a product of my life and experience and I'll share my opinions. Opinions between people are various and we don't all need to hold the same ones, but it is fun to hear the opinions of others as it gives us an opportunity to freshen up our own. If you enjoy and gain insight from listening, please subscribe and share.

1:00 If you have questions, please e-mail them. And as always, nothing you hear here is a proscription or a prescription. It is a discussion of life and life's internal and external experiences. So let's get to it and welcome, welcome again, thank you for listening and joining me today. And as always, I want to extend a special hello and welcome to those joining for the first time.

1:40 For those of you who've been with me on this project for a while, welcome back. So today's topic was suggested by a listener, and as I've been mulling it over and trying to be attentive about it, I realized that this this topic is one that we will need to not only talk about here today, but that will need to come back to it. It is something that is really foundational in our whole project of uncovering our authentic selves and being a person others rely upon. And it is a topic that on the surface seems right.

2:25 Not that interesting, rather it is so overworked and over hashed and discussed that well, what more can be said about it? But but as I put all of my intention and attention watching myself and my reactions and interactions and responses to others in my daily life, I realized there's a lot more to it and so many more dimensions that we can uncover. Witness and then understanding and seeing them put into action, put them into action. And once put into action, we will then be taking big steps forward toward our goal of uncovering our authentic selves. And this topic was suggested by a listener, and that made it something that I needed to really focus and work on. So here we are.

3:24 So okay, what is the topic, right? I've been talking around it without sharing what it is, and that is intentional because I suspect many of you will skip this episode. Once you know what the topic is, you'll hit like skip. So I'm trying to peak your peak and enlist your interest so that you'll stick with me on this. I think it's going to be that rich. So ready. Okay, the topic is listening. Boom. I can hear everyone grown so please bear with me. Okay. We're not talking about the type of listening we've all learned about at work and via self help. Not that those things are bad, but we're not talking about that.

4:14 We're not talking about traditional listening techniques or active listening methods per se. And we're not really talking about what is now referred to as EQ or EI emotional intelligence. We're talking about wholly listening, completely listening, spiritually listening, entering into a state of grace where we can hear and know the unspoken.

4:54 We're talking about listening with our eyes, Listening with our bodies. Listening by paying attention to what is behind the actions of others. Listening with a mindset and intention of being of help. Listening without an agenda, Listening without an angle, Listening without trying to get an edge or advantage. Listening without conditions or distinctions. Listening around through, over and behind the words, listening to the intent, listening to the spirit, listening with the wish to understand. So there are several aspects to this approach to listening, and actually we need to think of it as a practice, the practice of spiritual listening.

6:04 This is all very lofty, right? What does it mean and what does it look like in practice? And how do we actually do this? And those are all good questions. So to begin to find the answers to those questions, we need to first turn to our use of spiritual cues. Remember spiritual cues. Remember, these are the moments where we we catch ourselves in negative reactions and negative mindsets and thoughts, and we mentally and emotionally step back to find out what is really going on and to find a compassionate and altruistic way forward.

6:53 So for the practice of spiritual listening, the the first step is to use our mental cues to use our spiritual cues to prompt us to observe ourselves as we interact with others. We need to not only be engaged fully with others in this practice, but we need to also be a bit disengaged, have a part of us that is watching ourselves objectively. So what? Engaged but disengaged.

7:34 A bit contradictory, isn't it? The key to doing this is to listen fully engaged, but keeping our ego in check. So that disengaged part is it's sort of the traffic cop, the traffic cop of the ego. It is turning the light red when the ego wants to jump in and run across the road. Why would the ego want to jump in? Well, it depends on what the other person is sharing with us and how they're sharing it. Maybe our ego gets wounded, hurt, or insulted and wants to protect and defend.

8:18 Or maybe maybe the ego wants to assert opinions. Or maybe our ego wants to fix the situation, or the fix the other person. Maybe the ego wants to control or deflect or absolve Our Our egos are busy bodies, and they are ingenious at protecting that fragile sense of self and that self's rightness and value. So how does this traffic cop our our little bit of disengaged consciousness? How does this traffic cop know when the ego is crossing against the light, so to speak? What are we watching for?

9:00 We're watching for our reactions to the one we're with, our spiritual cues. Are we feeling annoyed? Are we feeling anxious? Are we feeling, Are we feeling wounded, hurt, attacked? Are we feeling rewarded? Acknowledged. What are the feelings we're having as we listen to another person? These feelings are all manifestations of the ego and the ego's needs. And though those manifestations, they they separate us from the other person and they muddy our ability to be of true health, to listen, to truly listen and respond. Most of the time when we engage with others in conversation and exchanges of ideas, plans, etcetera, most of the time we're responding to the literal meanings of what is being said. And we react to these things.

10:10 There's there's fun banter. There's stories to listen to and share. There's there's a flow of ideas with others, a give and take. But when we start to have negative reaction, that is the cue. That is the moment when we know something important is being communicated by another to us and that our egos are trying to shut it down. And so we need to exert efforts to do the opposite the opposite, to open up and engage without condition or distinction, and to to accept what is communicated.

10:59 So this is all still a bit amorphous, isn't it? Okay. So here, here's an example. And it took me a long time to figure this out, the examples from my life and it took me a long time to sort of figure it out. But but sometimes okay. Sometimes when I'm busy and concentrating, my husband will suddenly start doing and saying what I interpret it as silly things. He's basically he's basically trying to distract me to break my concentration and it is irritating and it is distracting and I react negatively like stop it please or can I please finish what I'm doing.

11:50 All all delivered with that voice. That voice I just did right. And that tone, the voice of irritation and impatience. And one day, one day I noticed I I was doing the exact same thing to him and he was irritated with me. Surprise. Ironically, the inside of this spiritual cue came when I was feeling hurt that being ignored rather than irritated at being disturbed. Instead of being the one who was disturbed in recognizing it. I was sort of the perpetrator, right? Which is a little bit of a reversal of the way the spiritual cues work.

12:40 But hey, I'll take the spiritual cue insight wherever I can get it. So at any rate, in my hurt, my poor wounded ego, I sat down to think, to meditate. Why was I trying to distract him? Why? What was? What was my purpose? And I I realized that I was feeling a bit insecure at that moment. Maybe I was feeling a little bit sad about some things, and I wanted reassurance. I wanted to be reminded I was loved. And to get those things, to get those reminders of those assurances.

13:28 I was irritating my husband and I realized when he was irritating me in other times he was pretty much after the same thing. Reassurance, comfort, love, the ego can be so damned counterproductive. So there it is. Really. It is universal. When we are feeling irritated by others or distracted and bothered, even when we're feeling attacked, criticized or demeaned, we are encountering another person who is communicating to us that they need to be heard, that they need to be reassured, that they need to be validated. They need to know they are loved or accepted, that they're valuable.

14:33 This is really the undercurrent, the subtext of so much communication, right? So earlier we asked, how do we do it? Listen spiritually. Well, this is the answer. We listen. We listen and let the other person talk. We don't react negatively. We listen. We ensure our traffic cop consciousness, that little extra consciousness is keeping the ego from crossing against the light. Stop, stop, right. We listen. We accept. We embrace without condition, without distinction, and and we communicate this acceptance physically with with nods of our heads, with verbal sounds of understanding. I see, I see.

15:32 We extend at least in our hearts and minds, Love, Okay, okay okay. That's great for like friends and family and intimates and such, but but what about a work situation, right? What does this have to do with any situation that isn't necessarily an intimate conversation, or with somebody with whom we're very close and. And for that matter, what if the other person is actually wrong where they're saying stuff and it's just wrong? What? What role does spiritual listening have in those situations?

16:14 The same. The same rule. It has the same rule. Absolutely no difference. The only difference is in what might follow what we say and do next. In a professional context, we can still spiritually listen and follow that up with direction or with correction. We can even follow it up with gentle criticism and feedback, but because our ego is still waiting at the crosswalk, we're holding it back right. We're keeping it checked. Because of that, we can do this communication without without malice or without defensiveness, Without aggressiveness. It can be considerate and in that it is loving and kind. Spiritual listening is another way to meditate. It is a meditation in action.

17:27 How so? Okay. When we meditate, sit with single pointed concentration, we calm our minds, slow everything down, or at least make efforts to do so. And when we calm our minds, slow things down, our egos are lulled a bit. The quieting of the ego creates space. It creates a mental silence. We stop broadcasting thoughts, so to speak, in that silence, in that spaciousness, answers come, truth emerges. And that's that's truth with a capital T Truth is ever present. It is always there.

18:33 Or here, actually everywhere but but but the noise of our minds drowns it out. The constant complaints of our ego shouts it down. The noise of our minds is the ego's constant war against being wounded and constant efforts to be validated. When we spiritually listen to another, we are able to hear not just the words of the other person, but we can perceive their needs, their fears, their wants, their insecurities. We can bear witness to another person who is trying, like all of us, trying their best, to be abidingly happy. When we listen spiritually, we will hear the wisdom of enlightenment.

19:44 It can thus be perceived. This is listening for the Buddha, and the very answers we ourselves seek will emerge. They are there. We just need to hear them. And they will emerge in the voices of others and from the silence in our own minds. When we can slow down. So we've talked about two aspects of spiritual listening. One leads to the other. The 1st is using our spiritual cues to engage our conscious traffic.

20:26 Cop stop. We'll give our ego a red light and allow us, our authentic selves, to be present for others in our lives, whoever they are. It will allow us to listen. Listen with our eyes. Listen with our body. To listen paying attention to what is behind the actions of others. Listen with a mindset and intention of being of help, without an agenda, without an angle, without trying to get an edge or advantage, without conditions or distinctions. It will allow us to listen around, through, over and behind the words, to listen to the intent to the spirit of the other, to listen with the wish to understand the other aspect is in spiritual listening, quieting our egos and thus our minds.

21:41 And then we will witness, perceive, and intuit truth. We will grasp answers that help us to move forward, that show us how to help the person across from us, and that helps us cultivate more abiding happiness and joy in our lives. When we give, we get. When we give, happiness blossoms. Joy arises When we just get out of the way and open ourselves to the infinite, the answers we need in any moment to anything will come.

22:43 Rather, they're already there. They're already here. Rather, we hear them as they are listening, listening with an open heart, listening with spiritual ears, getting out of the way, putting our egos into a time out so we can be present for others. These actions open us to a realm of truth that is most definitely the path to abiding happiness, joy, and helps us to see our authentic selves.

23:25 Thank you. Thank you so much for joining today. It it really is such a joy doing this work with you. Thank you so much for listening and watching and making efforts to become altruistic actors in your worlds. Your good, positive kind actions and intentions touch everyone everywhere. So let's continue to walk this path together. Let's all try our best to spiritually listen to those around us. I look forward to our next episode as we continue to uncover and discover our authentic selves. Thank you.

24:15 Thank you for listening if you enjoyed this podcast and want to hear more. Please subscribe and share. If you'd like to share your own experience, thoughts, or ask a question, please send an e-mail to Mike. At resonant dot social. With gratitude Theme music is courtesy of stock audios distributed by Pixa Bay, A Resident Life is a podcast from The Time Is Now Productions.