Episode 12 - Getting Off The Nail

0:08 Welcome, you are listening to the podcast, a Resident Life produced by the time is now Productions. I am Mike Thompson, your host, and reflector and chief. In this podcast, we will discuss experiences and insights, from living a life devoted to uncovering the authentic self. And finding fulfilling purpose from the past, the present and the future. This podcast is a product of my life and experience and I'll share my opinions. Opinions between people are various and we don't all need to hold the same ones, but it is fun to hear the opinions of others as it gives us an opportunity to freshen up our own. If you enjoy and gain Insight from listening, Please Subscribe.

0:59 And share. If you have questions, please email them. And as always, nothing you hear here is a prescription or a prescription. It is a discussion of life and life's internal and external experiences. So, let's get to it. And welcome, welcome to episode 12 of a resonant life. Today we're going to talk about getting off the nail. Unsticking, mustering, courage, and taking action to move forward toward a life of increased happiness.

1:42 Have you ever found yourself in a situation? A circumstance, a job or a relationship where you felt stuck? Not just stuck but also miserable unfulfilled may be taken advantage of But, despite all of that you couldn't muster the energy or the will or the commitment to actually make a change. So that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about how to muster the energy, the will and commitment to make a change and in doing so improve, not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us.

2:22 So to discuss this, let's use a story to get us going many of you may have heard this story before and there's a number of different ways to tell it and I'm going to tell it one way and then we're going to Riff Off Of A variation of it a little bit later. So this is the story of a dog. Sitting on his porch. Next to his owner. His companion. His companion is an old older fellow retired. Just sitting on the porch, enjoying enjoying a nice spring day and the dog next to him is howling. And when he's not howling, he's whimpering and when he's not whimpering he's just generally distressed. And so walking down the street, is someone a neighbor and the Neighbors on their way to work.

3:16 And as they passed the porch, they stopped because the dog is in obvious pain and is obviously suffering and so the neighbor says to the fellow on the porch. Hey excuse me, your dog, is he okay? And the man on the porch says, well seems to be in some pain there. And the guy walking to work said, well, what's causing the pain? What can we do? The man said well, dog, sitting on a nail. And the person walking to work said, well, why doesn't he get up off the nail? And the man on the porch says, well, I guess it doesn't hurt enough yet.

4:09 So that story kind of sums up how many of us through periods of Our Lives. Get stuck mired in situations that are uncomfortable and unhappy and in that that unhappiness in that discomfort. Is like glue that? Prevents us from making any action, taking any action to make change and often what we end up doing is complaining. We complain and moan to ourselves. We complain to our friends. We complain to all those who will listen essentially our life becomes sort of one of complaints. And maybe our friends offer to help and maybe they offer advice and maybe they offer suggestions and we just don't take those suggestions, you know the response is. Yeah yeah.

5:04 Yeah. I know I know I know but there's always something after the but But whatever comes after the, but is nothing, that's productive. It's nothing that moves you forward. So if we're in bad situations in our lives, whether it's personal, familial professional, and job, We spend our time and energy being miserable. We actually spend time and energy being miserable and complaining. That is our activity, being miserable and complaining and what that is psychologically and spiritually.

5:45 That is a self-centered feedback loop. And stuck in a self-centered feedback loop. There is no out. It's just a cycle. Recycle recycle of negativity. and if we're in that, Then we are not living to our full potential is giving helping kind people as agents of happiness in this world and we're not living an authentic self. We're not being our authentic selves because all of the misery and discomfort and unhappiness covers all of our authentic City up.

6:31 It's like mud over a shiny glass ball. Can't see the shiny glass ball because of the mud. How does one break out of this? It's easy to talk about, it's easy to make suggestions. It's all a lot harder to do. I'm going to use a personal example, right from today, right? From now. This is a small example, it's not a life-changing example, but it I realized as I was going through it that I was doing exactly what this podcast episode is going to be about today. I'm exhausted, I am tired.

7:16 I am not motivated. I just want to sit on the couch. Pick up a book and fall asleep after the first line and cuddle with my dog and my cat. That is literally all I Want to do, but I had set my goal today to record this episode. But there I was I was not going to do it. I was just kind of moaning about being tired and exhausted. I was stuck in it. And the only difference. Between me sitting on the couch and being asleep right now versus me being right here and doing this recording and talking to you. The only difference was making a conscious decision to step outside of my feedback loop.

8:05 To break that cycle, it took conscious deliberate concrete thought, followed by action. Action is a Common Thread in all of our episodes. So far of a resonant Life podcast. And it's a thread that definitely cuts through or goes through the fabric of uncovering, the authentic self and becoming a person whom others, miss a person that others want to be around a person that others can rely upon.

8:46 Action. So to take action we first need to acknowledge we're in a situation so if we're miserable if we're in a crummy job it with a crummy boss and we're miserable and we're not going anywhere. We have to own that. Admit it and own it. And realize in that owning of it that nothing will change. Unless we step outside of the negative feedback loop going over and over in our heads, step outside of that, make a plan.

9:27 And then act on that plan. So if it's a bad job, bad job situation. What's the plan? The plan is to look for a new job. Or the plan is to transfer departments. So there are concrete things, one can do to get a new job. Or to get a reassignment. We don't need to go over those things here, but it's a matter of doing it. Why would someone do it? Why would they end up being just stuck? Besides the power, the centrifugal force, the centrifugal psychological force of the feedback loop which keeps people stuck in. Addition to that, Is entropy. We may be in a rut, but the rut is familiar. And in its familiarity, it's safe, its secure, there's not a lot of unknown in it.

10:26 Now, this is a myth, this is a myth that we tell ourselves all the time that that the familiar is comfortable. And the making any kind of change, breaking out of the familiar, familiar, introduces risk and danger to our lives or situations. This is actually a myth With. Because things happen to us all the time, good and bad regardless of whether we're in a rut or not. So we need to break that equation in our minds. Of the familiar is safe, the familiars better than the unknown. And instead embrace the potential of something new Mindset, our minds control our reality. How we look at current situations. And how we look to Alternatives shapes what we do, and how we feel about these things.

11:31 If we approach change and new things with excitement and openness and a willingness to really go for it, then, no matter what happens, it's going to be a good experience. It's going to be a positive experience. It's going to set a new normal. If instead we look at new things as something scary and frightening, And try to avoid them eventually, new things are going to come and we're not going to be able to handle them or not. Going to be able to take advantage of the opportunities that are coming. Our way. We're not going to be able to take advantage of the opportunities that we might actually be creating for ourselves or that others might be creating for us.

12:15 It's important to be positive set. A positive mind frame, set a positive mindset, look positively towards the future. Set your heart, make your plan and take the first step. Just doing that first step, just once. It's going to change everything. And I might not stick and it might not hold and you might not get the reward, you are hoping for or the outcome that you are hoping for. But at least you've done something and then the trick is to take another step.

12:56 Don't slide back, don't get back into the negative feedback loop don't start complaining and just resign yourself to being in misery or unhappiness or unfulfillment keep taking steps. And you have taken all the steps on your plan. Then expand your plan. Take action. The other important element of all of this of taking action of going forward of making, the plan is to make it not just about you. Try to have your goals, your plan, have it, infused with the idea that if you go forward, if you get out of your rut, if you try something new, then you are going to become a better happier, more capable, more energetic, father, brother, Mother wife, sister.

14:00 Grandparents Friends, take your pick. You're going to be a better, everything. Whatever you are to anybody in your life, you're going to be a better, everything. And you'll become closer to being that person that others miss that others want to be around. You become a magnet for positivity, you bring it to you and then you reflect it out. This is very appealing, getting yourself into this kind of mindset and out of the rut. this creates for you, a happier life and if you are happier, living a more fulfilling life, Your relationships are going to become also more fulfilling.

14:47 They won't be as transactional. They won't be as draining, You'll be able to give and you'll be able to receive much more than you thought possible. We have an infinite capacity for kindness. In our hearts, we have an infinite capacity for happiness and joy. It simply requires that we break out of self-centered feedback loops and cycles and rots and whatever other verbal metaphor you want to use break out of those things and look positively towards the future. Look positively towards the now.

15:42 This opens you up and this changes the dynamic of the relationship you have with the world that you're in, with the life that you are living, you become an actor and engaged agent in your life. Being passive. Letting life do its thing to. You is not a formula for happiness, nor a formula for helping others and being available to help others. And helping others is so critical is Sookie. It's the foundation, the underpinning of all of this. If we can't be available to help others, then we are not fulfilling our potential.

16:29 As people who are trying to create more happiness in their lives, trying to uncover. And develop their authentic selves. We're already spiritually inclined to want to tap into that Infinite Source of kindness and happiness and joy and share that out. And once we can do that, we become a resource a lighthouse for others. Others that we might not even know the way we move through the world changes the way. People see us changes even if we don't know those people or see those people, haven't you ever your I ever been grabbed by a person walking down the street? And there's something about them and you're not sure what it is. But you can't take your eyes off of them because there's something really good that can be you. That can be all of us. if we break the feedback loop and if we get up off the nail, so, one variation on the story is The man on the porch.

17:40 Who's the companion of the dog says, instead of HE sitting on a nail, he says he's always sat there he sat there his whole life, but a nail came loose and now it's poking him and it hurts and he doesn't get up that version of the story really does focus on entropy and how we do get into ruts. And so, it's important. Also to look at your life from a perspective. Let's say right now, everything's going fine for you. This is second version of the story, is going to help you to deepen your work on covering your authentic self. Habits.

18:23 Is sort of the nullifier of light. It dims things routine and habit, while comfortable, and while making life predictable and often necessary to be able to get the day going and to get out the door and to get everything happening that has to happen and everybody doing what they need to be doing. Sure routine is great for that, but we need to be conscious that injecting little random changes little speed bumps little sparkles. To that routine. Not only keeps things fresh and keeps people tickled and amused. It keeps the routine from becoming - it keeps the routine from becoming a rut So it's important to not just keep doing things the way we've always done them because that nail is eventually going to be starting to stick up and it's the kind of thing.

19:27 It's like the Frog being boiled alive. You put the frog in a pan of water. Turn the heat on the frog. Doesn't know it's getting hot until it's too late. That's sort of how ruts creep up upon us out of routine. Out of expectation. And so if we keep doing little things to keep it fresh, maybe it's changing up what's for breakfast. Maybe it's taking the kids to school via bike instead of by a car. Maybe it's giving your partner spouse breakfast in bed, a little earlier. Maybe it's waking up early and doing some meditation going out for a run. Something you haven't done, just doing something different and something.

20:11 Different, not just for yourself, but for those around you break up the routine, add sparkles. Everybody loves sparkles. so today, It's about getting off the nail. Our lives are made measurably better when we change ourselves are situations and circumstances. And doing so steering toward altruistic actions and thoughts action is getting up off the nail that causes us pain, discomfort and unhappiness. And instead of remaining stuck in complaining, we end up living with more joy and that Joy is shared with others.

20:58 That's a recipe for success. That's a recipe for happiness. That's a recipe that's going to make your life and everyone else's lives around, you better and you become that person, others Miss whom others can rely upon and makes your day your week, your year. That much better. Thank you today for listening. And I hope you've enjoyed this episode. Please, as always email questions, suggestions thoughts to Mike at resident dot social and please subscribe the pot to the podcast.

21:39 If you haven't share the podcast, if you can, let's grow the circle. And let's talk again in about a week. Thanks so much have a great week.