Episode 10 - The Focusing of Pain

0:08 Welcome, you are listening to the podcast, a resonant life produced. By the time is now Productions. I am Mike Thompson, your host, and reflector and chief. In this podcast, we will discuss experiences and insights, from living a life devoted to uncovering the authentic self. And finding fulfilling purpose from the past, the present and the future. This podcast is a product of my life and experience and I'll share my opinions. Opinions between people are various and we don't all need to hold the same ones, but it is fun to hear the opinions of others as it gives us an opportunity to freshen up our own. If you enjoy and gain Insight from listening, Please Subscribe.

0:59 And share. If you have questions, please email them. And as always, nothing you hear here is a prescription or a prescription. It is a discussion of life and life's internal and external experiences. So, let's get to it. And welcome, welcome to another episode of a resonant life. This is episode number 10, and thank you for joining me today. And another discussion of how we can uncover our authentic selves and live a life that's filled with happiness and joy, not just for ourselves, but for all those around us, Us and eventually all those in the world, it's possible.

1:55 Today, we're going to take a little different track. And we're going to talk about pain and illness and sort of the limiting constricting narrowing nature of pain and illness or rather the construction that pain and illness. Cause Us in terms of our ability and capacity to be magnanimous, and be expansive, and to be outgoing, and to be open. And to extend ourselves. think we've all had experiences of pain and or illness where you sort of want to just curl up into a ball and block everything out until it all goes away, it's very natural reaction. In fact, most animals when they are injured and in pain or are ill, that's a exactly what they do. They curl up into a ball and some safe secluded spot and try to heal But as human beings, we have a different capacity. We have different abilities, we have more responsibility to help other people to be available, to other people. Whether that's family like our children. We can't just curl up into a ball and ignore our children. Or if we have elderly parents

3:28 depending upon us, we can't let them fend for themselves. And we've got our project, our project to uncover the authentic self. And if pain is limiting, this preventing us from doing the things we need to do the physical action related things, as well as the mental emotional and intellectual things, if pain is limiting that then we're not moving forward. We're not making progress on this endeavor. Pain and illness, they narrow our scope, and our capacity for engaged outgoing compassion.

4:10 Another thing that has the same effect is toxic people in our lives or toxic situations. Toxic environments. These things also narrow us, but today we're going to focus on pain and illness will take on toxicity in another another episode. It deserves its own. So the flip side of this is our natural reaction when we're in pain, is to basically mobilize and to do nothing. So, as to make the pain worse, so when we're in pain, our natural reaction is to just turn inward to avoid doing anything to avoid moving to avoid interacting as much as possible, but turning that around, Doing the opposite becomes something.

5:12 That is a very powerful tool to move ourselves forward in our project of uncovering, the authentic self and becoming more compassionate, and engaged people in the world around us becoming people who are of benefit becoming people that others rely upon becoming people at others Miss and wants to have in their lives. So how how do we do this pain can be used to loosen and relax our minds. So we don't often imagine our minds as separate from our bodies. We think of i as the composite of body and mind. But really the body.

6:00 While the vessel of the mind isn't the mind. The body isn't who we are. The body isn't me or I and so. If we can identify pain. Or illness as something that is afflicting, the body. We're already taking a step towards creating a little bit of distance between blending, the pain own us, a little distance between letting the pain dominate our consciousness This is an important first step.

6:46 If I'm in pain, my first step really in not just overcoming the pain, but using the pain, the first step is acknowledging that I am not the pain. Rather, my body is experiencing pain. It's a subtle difference, but it's a conscious effort to separate out and to pull my mind away from being controlled and dominated by physical Sensations. Bye-bye. Nerves telling my brain that there's great pain and to stop doing and change Retreat, whatever it might be.

7:32 I'm pushing that back and saying, I understand body that you are suffering right now, but that suffering doesn't need to control my mind, my awareness, my consciousness. And so we create a separation, a conscious separation between the body which has pain and our minds, which is Who We Are. And with that separation. That lack of Association, even a lack of affinity then. There's a little bit of distance, a little bit of objectivity where we can look at the pain as something which wants to roll over us, like the tide coming in on a beach but something which we can rise above. And in Rising above it, we maintain control and conscious awareness of ourselves that is different from that. And in that, we become more open again to being available to others.

9:02 So, let's break this down a little more. So we're going to take the step back, separate the pain in the body, from who we are from our minds. Look at it, objectively. If we don't associate with it. If we don't let it Dominate and control us, then while it still hurts in a while. We want to limit movement or do any we want to avoid anything that might increase the pain. We get. Control of our minds back. We're not the victim of the pain anymore. And in doing that. There are two open Pathways to expanding our mind and becoming more compassionate people.

9:53 One pathway is one of affinity and empathy. If you're able to look at your pain and the suffering it causes you, it gives you an opportunity to think there are other people in pain as well. And they must be suffering badly is badly or even more badly than I am. and it gives you a new appreciation for the lives of people who, Don't have the control of their life that you might have, or that you possibly could have this creates an opportunity for compassion, it plants a seed of compassion, for others, so that you become more sensitive to the situation of other people.

10:42 For example, how many times have you encountered, a person who is Gruff or abrasive or rude? And it kind of gets you upset or irritated and you wonder what did I do to them? Well it's quite possible that person is living with pain that you don't see, you don't know about and they don't have the ability to step back from it and instead it controls them and their personality and their behavior in the world. Stepping back from it. you yourself can then become more compassionate towards people who previously, irritated, you because of their gruffness or their rudeness So this pathway is an opportunity to expand your compassion for others and to treat others with more Equanimity because you might have something in common with them and you might see yourself in them in that maybe you're a little cranky and Gruff as well.

11:44 When you're in pain at least previously, before you try these exercises before you try this, Effort to separate yourself from your pain. And in becoming more compassionate to others. This creates a different sort of frame of mind where the painting becomes even less. Dominating I recall one time I had a horrible horrible. Bout of pain in my right, hip in the upper right hip.

12:26 And I, literally, if I made the wrong move, it was as if I was being jolted with a thousand volts of electricity and I would just freeze and shake and tremor for a few seconds. And then as that bolt of electricity released, then there, I was just Frozen with Agony. And I remember, I was flying To another city on a business trip. And I was sitting next to a woman and every time she jostle me this, cause this pain and my initial reaction was like, Jesus person, stop bumping me. I'm suffering here.

13:08 And instead of getting lost in that, - feeling that negative mindset and feeling negative towards that person. A stranger I was able to pull back a little bit from the pain and instead recognize that the person next to me was probably very uncomfortable in their own right? And whatever was going on with them. Certainly had nothing to do with wanting to cause me discomfort or pain. We were just two people onto small and aircraft going from point A to point B. this example, might seem trivial or trite, but for me, it was a real kind of Awakening because I'd been suffering through this pain and it had just come to dominate my existence and this moment, Allowed me to to step back and to learn from this process of stepping back and to instead of being irritated with the person next to me, increasing my discomfort in my pain, it allowed me to just go. This is just a person doing their very best in their life to do, whatever it is they want to do. They have no ill will or negative intentions toward me. So there's no reason for me to get all worked up about this. So this, this seemingly trivial moment, Was was a big step for me in terms of exploring possibilities of how to use the pain. to deepen, my compassion,

14:42 to deepen, my empathy, and to, rather than turning inward to turn outward and to extend myself, so, the other pathway that I mentioned, One way is to expand our compassion and our empathy. The other pathway is of using pain is to use it like a lens to focus on our minds. The focusing of pain, the focusing potential of pain and this is taking our first step a little further.

15:22 Actually, quite a lot further of getting that little bit of distance between our bodies that are in pain and our minds. So spiritual Seekers throughout The centuries have used austerities to deepen their spirituality, to elevate their minds to seek Enlightenment, whatever. Whatever that is. The you've got the Indian sadhus who might starve themselves or survive on only a grain of rice. or who insert sharp objects, through various parts of their skin or Japanese Seekers who climb mountains in the freezing cold, to get to a shrine or Temple, to make prayers and wandering mendicants, who just live lives of deprivation, or those who do, cold water, ablutions in freezing water, the idea being the build physical Cole stamina to build physical, determination, to use the physicality, to deepen, one's spiritual, mind, and nature, and potential, and to uncover wisdom. So what's operating through this? Why would why?

16:47 Why go through the effort of causing discomfort causing pain, starvation, whatever it might be. It's because In the moment of the physical suffering. One has the opportunity to separate the mind and to realize that the body is the body, it's the vessel carrying the mind. The vessel is there. Not to control contain constrain the Mind. Rather the vessel is there, so that the mind can expand. Its really a matter of your mind, taking charge of your body.

17:31 As we recognize that the body is the vessel and the mind is what is actually in control. The mind is who we are the core of I or me. then this from a Buddhist perspective, in particular helps us to loosen attachment loosen attachment to our body, loosen attachment to objects, loosen attachment to all kinds of things that hinder and constrain and restrain us from becoming the most compassionate open helpful people that we can be So the focusing of pain in being able to separate those things and being able to use pain zero in on it. See it see where it is in the body visualize how it is isolated and focused.

18:28 And that in, looking at it. You're not it. That becomes clearer and clearer. The more you do it, the more you focus and as you realize that you are not it. That creates opportunities for you to expand again. As you were before, the pain took over and then to expand even further because You've been able to see and use the pain as a spark of compassion to recognize pain and others and how it might be affecting others to recognize how illness might be affecting other people and constraining them. And in that compassion when somebody is rude to you or Gruff for whatever you're able to instead of reacting negatively, you're able to think.

19:19 Ah so this person might just be suffering and you extend a prayer to them. You express you extend a well wish you extend kindness in the face of rudeness. Doing the opposite of our visceral reactions is always the path to the authentic self. So, as I said, looking at paying this way will loosen and relax our minds. Because we become more expansive. If we're not controlled by the pain. now, the fact of the matter is, the body still in pain, Now hopefully the body will heal and mend and the pain will lessen and go away and that will carry forward the lessons that we learned with that.

20:16 But in for some people, the pain is a constant and it is always there. And in those situations this is a practice that needs to be maintained and sustained and built upon daily work on looking at the pain and separating oneself from the pain and looking outward and looking how As a compassionate person, you might be able to help others more make yourself more available to others despite the pain. Truly pain and illness. Are potentially a gift in that they help us move forward.

21:01 If we look at them the right way. Pain and illness can help us move forward and become people more authentic. More compassionate more able to help others. Instead of being under the control of physical Sensations and discomfort, we take control of the physical discomfort and Sensations and use them as fuel. And inspiration. to improve ourselves and to create happiness, with the people around us, rather than misery being a person who's reacting from pain is a person who's probably not making others around them, happy or comfortable. because, Being at the mercy of pain and illness, makes us that person who's Gruff and rude and short-tempered and unkind. And that's not who we want to be in that snot who we actually are.

22:20 That's not our Natural State. Our natural state Is that of an enlightened being Buddha? Everything else is piled upon it, covering that up. That's why we talked about uncovering. The authentic self, the authentic self is are enlightened selves and so overcoming pain and discomfort. It's like peeling away layer after layer. After layer of all the junk, that is covering up. Our true natures. Ultimate compassionate, kind and generous people.

23:01 There are those who don't believe that, that's the true nature of individuals and beliefs our beliefs. And as we said in the intro opinions will vary but it is truly my belief. and I've seen this in my own life and I've seen this in the lives of others that When we let our best shine, when we remove the stuff that keeps us down and holds us back the discomfort, the pain, the wants the the attachments, the disappointments, whatever. It might be any negativity when we strip that stuff away. There's just happiness and joy and gratitude underneath and that is something that we are able to share because it's infinite and sharing it.

23:54 Brings light and joy to other people as well. So, use pain and illness to focus to focus on freeing your mind. And removing the stains that cover up your most beautiful wonderful precious self. So, thank you for listening. And I hope that you're able to take away something. From today, I'm always open to hearing from you and to getting your suggestions and your thoughts and your feedback. So please feel free to email at Mike at resonant dot social and I look forward to sharing more with you in the next episode. Also please note that there's a sub stack now called resonant life.

24:52 Dotsub stack.com and there will be periodic articles as well as almost daily, little positive thoughts to consider and to help you get through your day and to bring light to yourselves and to others throughout your days. Thank you very much.