Episode 20: Karmic Stain Remover - Making Amends

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Welcome, you are listening to
the podcast, a resonant life

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produced.
By the time is now Productions.

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I am Mike Thompson, your host,
and reflector and chief.

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In this podcast, we will discuss
experiences and insights, from

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living a life devoted to
uncovering the authentic self.

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And finding fulfilling purpose
from the past, the present and

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the future.
This podcast is a product of my

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life and experience and I'll
share my opinions.

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Opinions between people are
various and we don't all need to

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hold the same wants, but it is
fun to hear the opinions of

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others as it gives us an
opportunity to freshen up our

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own.
If you enjoy and gain Insight

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from listening, Please
Subscribe.

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And share.
If you have questions, please

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email them.
And as always, nothing you hear

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here is a prescription or a
prescription.

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It is a discussion of life and
life's internal and external

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experiences.
So, let's get to it.

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And welcome.
Welcome again.

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Thank you for joining me in a
discussion of uncovering, our

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authentic cells and charting a
horse in our lives.

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That will result in abiding,
happiness, not just for

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ourselves but for others as
well.

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So, and this is episode 22 me.
This feels like a milestone, and

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I want to do a little happy.
A dance to celebrate our time

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and work together, but my happy
dance is a little embarrassing.

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So I'll wait till later when I'm
alone, I guess.

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Okay.
So to the topic of discussion

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for today, today we'll talk
about confession and repentance

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confess, repent?
Okay, okay.

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Okay, those two words are wildly
loaded and Toxic really their

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conversation Stoppers especially
for those who've had them used

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as Weapons against them in their
lives and I think that includes

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a lot of us.
So that's said, in our spiritual

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lives, it is very difficult to
move forward to deepen, our

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practice and open our hearts
fully, if we are carrying around

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unresolved negativity and
denying responsibility, For any

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harms or hurts.
We've caused others throughout

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the course of Our Lives.
In the Buddhist view.

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These negativities these hurts
and harms their negative Karma.

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They are negative actions of
body speech and mind.

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And thus, they keep us tethered
and tied limiting our ability to

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really expand our capacity to be
open.

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Joyful people living in
sustained and abiding happiness

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in our daily lives.
And it is important to realize

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that when we create negative
karma for ourselves, most likely

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we are creating negative karma
for others as well.

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They will react negatively to
our negative actions They will

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do.
They will feel anger, they will

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respond.
They'll fight back, whatever it

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might be.
And that creates - they create

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their own - Comer based on the
negative Karma, we've caused for

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them.
So, we've talked about the

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virtuous circle.
We're good begets.

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Good positivity, creates more
positivity.

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This is the opposite.
This is a - Circle a spiral of

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negative Karma that spreads like
a disease and we bear the Ility

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for all of that, that which we
caused.

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Beyond what we do today or have
done just yesterday.

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The weight of This Means
negative Karma beyond what we've

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done today or yesterday in terms
of negativities created harms

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and hurts and inconveniences,
whatever it might be the weight

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of long past hurts and harms.
We carry their like a psychic

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crust, which affects our actions
in the present.

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So we've got the negativities we
might be creating today or in

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the recent past.
But we've also got this long

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past stuff all the way through.
Course of our lives and we carry

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this.
And it affects our actions in

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the present as I said it's like
- muscle memory negativities

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beget more negativity snark.
Invites more snark, insults.

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Prepare the ground for more
insults.

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Selfishness it.
Recedes our heart and our mind

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with more selfishness.
So you get the point. and in

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this sense, our interactions
with others will then be less,

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loving less kind and generous
than we intend.

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The lens of negativity can warp,
how we interact with others and

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act and move in our lives.
How we engage our families, our

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communities, our workplaces Etc.
There's this warping effect.

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So in truth, don't we want all
the people in our lives to feel

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loved cared for valued
cherished?

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Don't we want all of Our words,
thoughts actions to be ones that

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help.
That support that lift up those

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around us, as we lift others.
So are we ourselves lifted?

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I was talking with a friend the
other day and he mentioned he

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would be having lunch with
another Mutual acquaintance of

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ours, after a long time of not
seeing each other.

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My response was oh ha.
Mmm, I've always found that

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person to be difficult to be
around.

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In response to that my friend
was suddenly very silent.

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For what became an uncomfortable
amount of time.

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And in that silence, what's
really did seem to stretch for

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quite some time, I realized that
what I'd said and the feeling

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behind it that I found our
acquaintance difficult to be

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around.
This was a harm specifically.

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It was a harm of speech.
Remember we talked about body

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speech and mind the three
vehicles by which we cause

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actions.
So how is it a harm?

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How is it a cause of hurt?
How is it negative Karma?

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Expressing my feeling of this
person, being difficult to be

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around.
How is it a harm?

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So most obviously I guess I was
speaking negatively about

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someone else, even if it was
couched in my experience of

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being with him I was being
clever.

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Really it was a negativity was -
speech about someone else.

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So what possible good or
positive comes from sharing?

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That doesn't make my friend feel
better, the one I'm talking to?

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No, not a bit.
In fact, it can hurt him also

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and maybe it did because he was
letting me know this through his

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silence.
Does it make me feel better?

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No.
How could it make me feel better

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other than me taking pleasure
from casting negativity on

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another I don't want to be a
person who takes pleasure and

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trashing others.
That's not who I want to be.

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So it is, it, is it even a hurt
to the person whom I was

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referring?
Who wasn't in the conversation?

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Who didn't hear it?
Yes.

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It was how well a couple of
things.

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My friend, when he's with him,
is going to be thinking about

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that.
That will taint.

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And he suddenly but it'll taint
things.

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It'll create a little - seat of
something in there between them.

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How else?
It means I'm not going to be in

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a positive and open and giving
state of mind and heart when I'm

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next with this person.
This acquaintance whom I was

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describing as difficult to be
around because I'm thinking he's

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difficult to be around and then
even more my negativity could

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get back to this person - -
words are like viruses they

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spread they mutate. they, in
fact, So, so I was horrified

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with myself, to be honest, I was
not walking the walk.

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I was not walking the talk.
I was not living a resonant life

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with those feelings and
comments.

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I was not being altruistic or
being kind in any way.

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Boom.
So it's so easy to step down or

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maybe it's falling down.
It's easy to step down from the

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pedestal of high-minded
aspirations, right?

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It's so easy to just be
Thoughtless and cause hurt and

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harm The moment we are not
thinking not being intentional,

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the moment, we are not being
intentional, which is most of

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the time, right?
We're not intentional.

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Most of the time, it is.
Those times when we hurt when we

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cause problems, that we cause
harm, no matter how minor that

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is when we create negative
karma, when we are not thinking,

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when we are not being
intentional, when we're not, not

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engaged in our project
consciously Looking at this

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realization.
This reality and truth that we

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spend exponentially more time
creating negative Karma than we

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do creating positive Karma.
Looking at this realization, it

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is overwhelming, it's a little
depressing and it's a depressing

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and defeating realization.
At least, at least it is if we

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aren't using the remedy the
antidote.

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Ah, so there is a remedy.
There's an antidote and there

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is, there is, there is a
practice by which we can purify

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by, which we can reverse the
negativity and replace it with

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positivity, with positive Karma
with Merit.

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And this is what we've been
working on.

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This is our project to uncover
the authentic.

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Self.
Becoming more intentional more

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of the time becoming more
focused and positive more of the

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time having more energy spent
being altruistic more time being

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awake and aware of what we're
doing.

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What we're saying and what we're
thinking more of our time and

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energy continuously focused on
these things, harnessing the

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Wild stampeding Horses of our
mind.

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And throughout this project of
ours.

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We've been using mind hacks
meditations and intentional

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practices of action to do this.
And as always, we also use the

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recognition of making a
so-called mistake to not beat

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ourselves up to not punish
ourselves to not just go.

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Oh crap.
But rather to stop and wake up a

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mistake, realized is a treasure.
Right, especially if we realize

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that in the moment of making the
mistake. and as I did with, with

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my friend, in that conversation,
and with his help, So this this

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waking up in the moment to the
mistake and using it as a

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trigger, this is a treasure
because we can stop right there

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and fix it.
We can correct it.

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We can apply the remedy and the
antidote in the moment and take

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that moment of negative Karma
and turn it around.

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And I I shared what that remedy
and antidote are at the very

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beginning of our discussion
today.

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The topic of this discussion
confession, repentance Okay, we

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can certainly find better less
toxic words, right.

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Let's work with these words.
How about owning?

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And remedying confession is
owning remedying is repentance.

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So I myself, I am a work in
progress, I am nowhere near

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complete so to speak and as a
work in progress, I make

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mistakes.
I make errors, I caused

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misunderstandings, I hurt others
with my words sometimes.

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I ended my daily life.
Create a lot of negative Karma,

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I don't want to but this is
life.

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So but but but I am trying to
awaken I am trying to uncover my

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authentic self and be a help to
others 100% of the time.

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And so I do my best to use the
antidote this antidote Owning

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and remedying, I own my mistakes
as much as I can, when I become

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aware of them, I own them.
I admit to myself, I did this.

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I made this happen.
I caused this.

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I caused someone to be hurt.
Hurt or sad or angry or upset me

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my words my actions driven by my
thoughts. this is what I did

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when I was talking to my friend,
I broke the long Silence by

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saying, yeah, I guess that isn't
a very nice thing to say or

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think is it?
He laughed, I owned it and then

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I apologized.
I apologize to him.

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I made amends.
And then I went one step

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further.
I thanked him for helping to see

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myself making a mistake, he was
like a mirror and I got to watch

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myself thoughtlessly and
mindlessly Bertha negativity

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into the world completely
unnecessary.

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To say what I said to even think
and feel what I was thinking.

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And feeling about that person,
that third person Now, do you

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see how my train of thought is
working?

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How I'm unwinding the stream of
events in reactions.

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I'm full on the highway of Mind
hex.

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Now, here's the chain.
I owned.

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I made amends.
Then I expressed and sincerely

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felt gratitude to my friend and
zooming the lens back.

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I'm looking at how I feel
negatively about a person and

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asking myself why?
Boom that's another trigger.

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A trigger to apply a mind hack
thinking of this person who made

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me think negatively, okay, let's
let's override that let's think

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of this person with compassion.
Let's think of this person is

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someone we can support someone.
We can assist be kind to, at the

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very least.
And doing this digging in and

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going deep, I can feel my heart
open.

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I can feel it expand and, you
know, sometimes it's hard to

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own, right?
Sometimes you just get close.

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You push back.
No, I didn't do anything wrong.

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No, I'm right.
No, no, no, I'm good.

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I'm right.
I'm right.

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And you're just closes in,
right?

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so that closing in that's
something to recognize as well,

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if you're closing in, if you're
denying, if you're saying no, if

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you're not accepting then You
need to turn that around because

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that's showing you.
Yes.

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Yes, I need to own this.
Yes, yes, I did that.

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Yes, I accept this.
I own it.

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So.
Okay.

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So this won't be the last time I
say a gossipy snarky thing about

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someone to someone else.
I'm human.

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But catching those moments
fishing for snarks, a catching

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them.
Stepping back looking at And

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seeing where they come from,
owning them making amends

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converting the snark to
something positive, then

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allowing gratitude to fill me,
gratitude for being able to do

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this, exercise to clean up my
mess gratitude to do something

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positive instead, so that's a
way to live differently in the

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present.
But we still carry around with

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us the weight and toll of past
negative Karma of past harms

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hurts, wounds ills that we've
caused others Buddhists

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emphasize.
This negative karma is not only

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from this life.
But as inclusive of all

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infinite, previous lives.
That's a lot of bad stuff

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hanging around our necks.
That's a lot of Bad Karma so so

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that we don't get overwhelmed
and bogged down because that is

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overwhelming that's just like
can't even swallow that one.

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So instead of getting bogged
down in that and overwhelmed the

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defeated, let's focus on this
life.

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Let's focus on the life we're in
right now, and the past we

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presently carry with us.
If we do this, the rest will To

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sort itself out.
So how do we own and make amends

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for negative actions words and
thoughts from our past past

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meaning years, right?
So there are two basic methods

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and Buddhist practice. the first
is to set aside time routinely

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They leave possible set aside
time and reflect, and this is

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meditation reflect on our past
dislikes.

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And the people who are connected
to them, recall, the things we

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did or said, Two people we
didn't like or thought of as

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enemies competitors.
Our opponents Think of them.

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Recall them recall, the things
we did or said you get the

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picture one by one.
Do it one by one step by step,

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bring the incidents to mind
bringing the person to mind.

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And in that quiet moment of
sitting in memory, reflect on

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the negativity, That you felt
that you caused and then

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00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:38,900
apologize or make amends in your
mind in your meditation.

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It's a meditative exercise.
If the people you recall in this

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exercise are still around, you
can certainly engage with them

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and own and make amends in
person.

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But, you know, maybe that isn't
always wise or appropriate or

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practical, you will know the
outcome of this meditation of

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owning and making amends for
past hurts internally in your

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00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,400
mind.
And your heart is to scrub

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00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,700
clean, that negative karmic dust
that holds you back or hold you

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00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:14,700
down your heart.
And mind will be relieved and

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00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,000
grow, lighter, you'll feel more
open.

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So there will be a tendency to
justify to explain to highlight

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circumstances.
All the reason I did this is

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because the debtor data and
maybe ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, even if

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00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,900
this is a meditative exercise,
your mind will still your ego.

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00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:33,300
Will still jump in and go, oh, I
didn't mean it.

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00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:36,300
And it was because by this and
that you'll have excuses.

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00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,800
Our minds are gold medal,
gymnast when it comes to

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00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:47,800
avoiding responsibility.
So the key is to own own it all

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00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:54,300
of it without condition without
exception without excuse.

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00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,800
Then make amends for it.
Feel regret for hurting or

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00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:06,200
harming, feel regret for doing
something that caused someone

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00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:13,200
else sadness or disappointment.
So okay, I said there were two

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00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:18,100
basic methods.
The other method is action

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00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:23,100
taking literal action and this
is so important and critical to

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00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:28,400
the whole exercise.
The first part is good but it it

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00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:33,800
lacks oomph unless you add the
second part X action is the

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00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,600
reagent.
The element that makes the whole

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00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,800
practice light, you up, and
purify your negativities, and

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00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:43,300
your negative Karma and helps
you move forward action.

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00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:50,900
Here it is, do good. things
today right now, do concrete,

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00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:58,900
kind things over and over again
and again, And do them with

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00:23:58,900 --> 00:24:02,300
intention.
The intention of your kindness

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00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:05,900
is to purify to make amends for
the past.

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00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,500
You are aware that you've caused
pain hurt, or harm in the past,

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00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,800
but you are now trying to purify
it to turn it into positives,

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00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:20,000
that will help you help others
more.

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00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,300
You're creating a force
multiplier.

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00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:32,200
Do kind, generous helpful, sweet
thoughtful.

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00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:38,800
Things for others.
And do them with the heart and

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mind of purifying of owning and
making amends.

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00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,300
Do it with your full intention
and attention.

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00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,000
It is a lot of work and it takes
a lot of attention.

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00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:59,900
But the net effect is one where
you find your life brighter

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00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:07,800
Fuller, and you yourself more
optimistic and happier. more

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00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:12,000
importantly, you will become a
Kinder more generous person,

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00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:17,700
step-by-step action
after-action, kind word after

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00:25:17,700 --> 00:25:27,800
kind were generous thought after
generous thought Mistakes can

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00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:33,800
become a burden if we let them
sit and fester or they can

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00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:40,200
trigger positive actions of body
speech and mind since we're

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00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,500
going to make them mistakes.
And we're going to make

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00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,700
mistakes, no matter how hard we
try to be perfect.

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00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:49,500
Let's use our mistakes to
purify, our negativities to wash

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00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:54,200
our hearts and Minds clean and
to move forward on our journey.

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00:25:55,200 --> 00:26:00,200
Our journey, this wonderful path
of uncovering the authentic

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00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:06,300
self.
Let's all do our best and go

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00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:14,600
forward and create a world where
there's an infinite supply of

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00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,500
happiness and peace.
Thank you.

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00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:25,000
Take care.
Thank you for listening.

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00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,700
If you enjoyed this podcast and
want to hear more, please

332
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:31,600
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If you'd like to share your own

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00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,100
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Thoughts or ask a question.

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00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:38,300
Please send an email to Mike at
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00:26:39,700 --> 00:26:43,100
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