Episode 13 - Give Life A Big Hug

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Welcome, you are listening to
the podcast, a Resident Life

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produced by the time is now
Productions.

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I am Mike Thompson, your host,
and reflector and chief.

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In this podcast, we will discuss
experiences and insights, from

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living a life devoted to
uncovering the authentic self.

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And finding fulfilling purpose
from the past, the present and

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the future.
This podcast is a product of my

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life and experience and I'll
share my opinions.

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Opinions between people are
various and we don't all need to

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hold the same ones, but it is
fun to hear the opinions of

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others as it gives us an
opportunity to freshen up our

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own.
If you enjoy and gain Insight

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from listening, Please
Subscribe.

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And share.
If you have questions, please

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email them.
And as always, nothing you hear

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here is a prescription or a
prescription.

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It is a discussion of life and
life's internal and external

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experiences.
So, let's get to it.

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And welcome, welcome to episode
13 of a resonant life.

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As always, I'm happy and
thrilled that you're listening

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and that were engaging together
in this project of uncovering

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the authentic self and working
to become more fulfilled in our

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own lives but helping to create
fulfillment in the lives of

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those around us.
Us and extending that circle out

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infinitely.
Today's topic is going to be a

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challenging one and so I'm going
to do my best to try and bring

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some light to it and to help you
understand this concept and to

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put it into practice in your
daily life.

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The concept is embracement.
Now, embracement isn't something

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that is actually found in the
traditional ancient Buddhist

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Canon, but it's a very modern
way of looking at a whole bunch

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of stuff in Buddhism and looking
at it, in a way that's very

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practical and very easy to
understand and very Possible to

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put into practice in our daily
lives.

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It's a big concept and it comes
to us out of Shino Buddhism,

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which is a lay Buddhist practice
order, founded articulated and

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shared for the modern world.
So let's just think about the

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word and the concept for just a
minute when we think of Embrace

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or embracing, that's, you know,
hugging taking in accepting but

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it's more than accepting
embracement is to incorporate.

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To mix in.
But it isn't mixing in like

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adding milk and sugar to coffee
and creating sort of a solution.

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It is more, the creation of life
is a mosaic.

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Whole comprised of the unique
and individual pieces where the

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individual unique pieces of the
Mosaic stand out and exist, but

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they create a much larger and
more beautiful and amazing piece

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of art.
So, embracement also, it's more

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than just accepting diversity
diversity in our families

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diversity.
In our communities, Our Lives,

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it's more than this It's
welcoming, it's inviting and

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encouraging diversity.
Including the full uniqueness of

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everything that can be imagined.
So it's not just allowing or

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giving permission to it's really
taking it in and making it a

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part of oneself, an interplay
between who you think you are

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and the rest of the diversity
around you.

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Now, this goes against our
nature.

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This goes against our very basic
Nature's as living beings are

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genetic will to survive thrive
and propagate, and we've talked

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about this probably in almost
every episode in that practice

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Buddhist practice.
Altruistic, practice putting

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others before yourself.
This goes against our genetic

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nature to survive.
And that's essentially the

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project itself is is overriding.
The genetic are genetic nature

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because Happiness is not found
in surviving per se, happiness

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and joy in our lives and
extending out.

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To others lives is created out
of altruism.

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And altruism is the opposite of
following.

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Our genetic natures.
Because it's putting other

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before self.
So, embracement is essentially a

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way of conceptualizing and
putting into practice in

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everyday life, a very ancient
and traditional Buddhist

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practice called the in the, for
immeasurable states of mind.

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And as translated, it's
translated, many ways.

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But my favorite is I find it
quite beautiful and inspiring,

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but this is how the for
immeasurable states of Mind are

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presented.
Its may all have happiness and

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the causes of happiness.
May they be liberated from

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suffering and the causes of
suffering may they never be

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separated from the happiness,
which is free from sorrow.

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May they rest in Equanimity free
from attachment and aversion.

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So that's the four, immeasurable
states of mind.

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And the practice of embracement
includes that it wraps that all

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up into a more easily,
understood way of moving forward

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of acting in ways that put into
practice, the four immeasurable

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states of mind.
So those four immeasurable

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states of Mind are summarized
basically, as number one,

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Equanimity.
Number two, loving-kindness.

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Number three, compassion, and
number for joy.

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So, let's look at that quickly.
Let's look at these four

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Concepts Equanimity.
We've talked about Equanimity

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before Equanimity is having a
state of mind and having a heart

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that isn't differentiating
instinctively and reactively

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between good and bad like and
dislike between friend and enemy

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between happiness and sorrow.
It's a balanced state of where

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were being intentional with our
hearts and our minds and not

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letting the buffeting forces of
life in the world, move us this

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way in that there's a sense of
control but it's not a conscious

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control, it's more like A boat
sitting in the water.

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In a cool.
Calm, body of water.

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The boat just sitting there
floating in the water, that's a

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visual representation of
equanimity.

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And what our minds could be like
if we're in a state of

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equanimity not liking disliking
reacting strongly in negatively,

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reacting strongly in positively,
and then, loving kindness.

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Loving.
Kindness is being willing to

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help being willing to care.
And to give of ourselves without

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condition or distinction.
Loving kindness.

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Is having an open heart, that is
welcoming and that extends out

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to others.
There's no ill-will, there's no

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sentimentality.
It's just a giving of oneself to

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help other beings, not just
people animals to the

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environment, reaching out,
creating a better world.

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This is all part of loving
kindness.

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And then compassion, I think a
lot of people are very familiar

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with what compassion is and
compassion just to get into it.

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A little bit is, is, is being
able to put oneself in the shoes

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of another and to understand
what another, it might be

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feeling or going through.
And being able to connect on

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that level on that
person-to-person level.

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It's being able to feel care and
concern.

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It's being able to react In a
way that wants to help that

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wants to bring joy.
That wants to establish, peace,

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that wants to bring people out
of conflict out of poverty to

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bring people out of bad
situations.

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Compassion is our, our will and
our drive for peace.

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And the fourth of the four
immeasurables is joy.

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And the four immeasurables are
are presented in two different

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ways.
As a sort of a path, a

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progression.
I think that the, the original

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the oldest when Buddhism was
first written down or shared it

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was Joy compassion, loving
kindness.

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Equanimity, Equanimity was the
final and the hardest to achieve

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Mahayana Buddhism flipped it
around and they said, Equanimity

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is the place to start.
Training yourself to be

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available for others without
distinction or condition.

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So it's Equanimity, loving
kindness, compassion, Passion

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and that's all leads to Joy.
And joy is celebrating the

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happiness of others.
Joy isn't just about this.

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Isn't the kind of joy that you
have yourself.

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It's a bigger Joy.
A great.

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Joy sympathetic Joy.
It's finding joy in the success

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and the happiness of others.
It's feeling Joy.

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When others.
Are in a good place.

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The opposite of this, of course,
is jealousy.

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So this is a joy in others,
success in others life in others

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thriving. if we feel Joy for the
success and happiness of others,

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Then certainly, we've mastered
Equanimity loving-kindness and

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compassion because it's other
success unrelated to our own

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benefit that we feel Joy.
Okay, let's get out of the more

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abstract and get down to a
little more of the nitty-gritty.

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Equanimity, how do we do this in
our daily lives?

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How do we engage in the practice
of becoming a Quantum has?

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I'm not sure how to say that.
So one basic way really and

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we've talked about this before
in other episodes, as well as

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accept people for who and what
they are and start with your

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immediate circle, whether that's
your family spouse and children.

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Mother father, Best friends
colleagues start in that near

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close Circle.
And look at people a little more

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objectively without judging.
Look at them without putting

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your expectations on them.
Look at them, trying to

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understand what their own
personal expectations, and

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situation might be accept them
for who and what they are in the

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moment.
You can't really change others

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to be the way you want.
You can only change yourself.

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The best way to change yourself
is to stop putting expectations

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on to people to meet your own
needs, but rather just accept

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them for who and what they are.
For me, the best experience I

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had with this recently, I think,
is in a, in a job.

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I was doing.
I had a colleague who, you know,

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they just weren't very
motivated, and they weren't

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interested in excellence and
they weren't interested in

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planning.
Basically, they'd go into a

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project without having prepared,
it would blow up and then they'd

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work hard and long and And in
the end it would all come out.

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Okay.
But the roller coaster of

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stress, not just for that
person.

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But for everybody around them,
including me was extraordinary.

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And I was constantly saying, why
don't you plan You could have

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avoided this problem by doing
this two days ago.

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There's a hundred different
ways.

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I could take apart what they did
and how they did it and how it

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could have been better.
But in the end, the only thing

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that came of me, trying to
assert my way onto this

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colleague, made him unhappy made
me unhappy cause stress, for

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both of us and increase the
stress of all those around us.

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There was no positive outcome
there.

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So One day, I just realized that
I needed to accept.

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How this person did what they
did, accept them for who, and

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what they were and, and how they
approach their job, their

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career.
As a manager, this was very

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difficult because there's all
kinds of performance,

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expectations, and requirements
of our customers, and our

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leaders, and everybody else.
But In accepting this person.

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I was able to manage the
expectations of others and I was

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better able to provide the
support.

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My colleague needed to be
ultimately successful.

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Even if things blew up in the
process and at the end of it, I

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was less stressed out and more
satisfied.

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And he was less stressed out and
more satisfied.

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And the projects did get done to
spec.

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Ali.
That changed how I approached

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managing people in a profound
way.

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And I extended that acceptance
of who and what people are to

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all of my colleagues and
suddenly what had often been a

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challenging workplace with
competing personalities and

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competing priorities became a
much more enjoyable harmonious

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place with a lot more laughter
and a lot more getting along.

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Was it more efficient?
Hmm, maybe not.

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Was it more productive?
Probably not.

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But did everybody involved feel
better?

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Absolutely.
Was everybody involved therefore

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more successful?
There is no doubt.

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So, accept people for who and
what they are.

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You can't change them.
You can only change yourself.

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Another important way of putting
into practice Equanimity, this

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might not sound intuitively
connected, but do what you say

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and say what you do people like
to say.

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Walk the talk and this also is
something that people have a

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hard time with, but it's one of
the most important personal

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Integrity things that will cause
you to become a person that

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others look to, we've talked a
lot about becoming a person

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others.
Miss that up, becoming a person

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that others want to be around,
becoming a person that others

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can rely upon doing what you say
and saying, what you do is a key

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step to that.
So checking in with yourself

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being intentional, Am I doing
what I say I would do.

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Am I doing what I say others.
I want others to do is their

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consistency.
And tagging on to, that is being

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honest and forthright in all of
your relationships and all of

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your Communications with others.
Whether it's your family friends

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colleagues again, starting in
the small closed Circle, but

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it's so important being honest
and forthright, but consider it

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in your honesty and your
forthrightness being considerate

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to how your honesty and
forthrightness.

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Enos will affect others.
Maybe a better way to say this

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is to be transparent.
Don't have a hidden agenda.

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Don't hold back.
What others need to know or

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others need to hear to help them
move forward in their lives.

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To help them be happier.
Be honest and forthright, but

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considerate be transparent.
And continuing another important

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thing to do is to accept
situations for what they are

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good or bad.
This is like accepting people

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for who and what they are but
this is also important.

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For the situations, you find
yourself in Accept the situation

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for what it is, good or bad
enjoyable or unenjoyable

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challenging or boring.
Accept it for what it is and if

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it's bad.
You can change it face, squarely

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the situation and then make a
plan to either create a new

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situation or change the
situation that you're in.

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But if you're going to change
the situation that you're in,

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then you need to enlist the
other people who are helping to

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create that situation.
And for that, we go back to

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number one, accept people for
who and what they are.

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So another step moving into
loving kindness and actions.

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We can take practices, we can do
behaviors ways of thinking and

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being for loving kindness.
Is that always, keeping in mind

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that you are not alone.
You do not exist in this

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universe alone and you can help
others wherever you are.

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And in whatever situation you
may find yourself. you are

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surrounded by people that need
your help and you, Have an

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infinite infinite capacity to
help.

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That is your authentic self
realizing that you have an

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infinite supply of help that you
can offer whatever situation

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you're in whatever mindset
you're in you can still help you

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can still reach out a hand.
This is your superpower.

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And you have to embrace that
superpower.

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Once you say, I do have an
infinite supply of an ability to

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help.
Then.

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Joy will pop up where there was
no joy before or where it was

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covered or hidden?
So loving kindness, You Are Not

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Alone, look around you, you can
help others.

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Maybe it's just a kind word,
maybe it's a smile for somebody

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who's having a hard day.
A bad time.

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Whatever situation you're in, be
kind smile.

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No, you're not alone and know
that.

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You have an infinite supply of
happiness and joy and help that

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you can offer to others.
Even if you're not yourself,

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feeling happiness, and happy and
joyful, you can still share with

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others.
And compassion.

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Being kind.
And this is more than the

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previous just being available to
help being kind is a is a state

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of being be kind to all others
including yourself be kind in

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all of your Words.
Words are Weapons dangerous.

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Or there are a soothing balm, a
cause of happiness and joy.

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So be careful with your words
and if you're trying to be kind

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your words will reflect that.
And the thoughts and feelings

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behind the words will also
reflect that Focus hard to be

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kind to your loved ones, and
then be kind to strangers.

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There's so many ways in our busy
daily lives, especially for in

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crowded, crowded cities, moving
from one place to another.

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It's so hard to ignore.
All those people around us to

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just blot them out and think of
them as objects are obstacles to

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get around and through and get
behind us that we can get to

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where we're going.
Life becomes completely

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different.
If you start walking through

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crowds with a smile.
And look at the faces.

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See the people that are around
you, this is a step towards

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00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:13,600
being kind to all and then the
next the most difficult be kind

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00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:18,300
to those people you don't like
or care for be kind to people

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00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:21,600
whom you might think of as
adversaries or enemies.

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00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:29,600
Being kind is be considerate.
Extend a hand, be open to them

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00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,500
regardless of their hostility,
negativity.

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Whatever it is that you're
reacting, negatively to And as

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you extend kindness to them,
then you're actually not

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00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:45,900
reacting negatively and then you
can start to see them for who

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and what they are. rather than
just seeing them as enemies are

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00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:54,500
adversaries or people, you don't
like or care for This is the

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00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:58,500
heart of compassion, compassion
to wall without regard or

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00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:04,500
distinction.
And finally celebrate the

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00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:10,500
success and happiness of others.
This is Joy, the happiness and

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success of others in your life
is a reflection of your own good

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00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:20,700
heart.
We've talked a lot about how

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practice and altruism leads to
Joy.

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Joy isn't something.
You can manufacture consciously.

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It isn't something.
You can think into creation.

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It's something you have to act
to create.

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You have to take action.
You have to be helpful to

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others.
You have to be kind to others.

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You have to be accepting of
others and situation.

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00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:50,800
Ian's and then Joy is the
product.

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00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:58,200
A joy that you can't describe a
joy that will permeate your

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00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,700
heart and your mind and extend
out to others.

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00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:08,100
And in that again, you become a
person, others want to be around

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00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:13,100
a person.
Others can rely upon a person,

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00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,400
others will miss if you're not
there.

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So this is the path of
embracement.

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Except the past and minded for
insight on how to accept the

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00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:36,300
presence. except that the future
will come face it squarely and

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00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:41,500
with open arms, these are sort
of the two concluding thoughts

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00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:46,200
of embracement with the for
immeasurable states of Mind

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00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:50,700
Equanimity, loving kindness
compassion, Joy work on these in

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00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:54,500
your daily life.
Consciously intentionally Put

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00:25:54,500 --> 00:26:00,200
them into practice, do it, and
then, accept the past, the past

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00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:04,200
doesn't need to be baggage.
That you carry around rather it

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00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:08,800
is treasure because you can look
through it and find insights on

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00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:13,300
how to be better today, and
don't be anxious about the

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00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:18,500
future, because the future will
come Regardless, and if you're

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00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:23,500
practicing embracement, you can
face it squarely and with open

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00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:28,000
arms and accept it with joy.
This Is The Life.

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Give it a hug and embrace it.
Thank you so much for listening

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00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:38,300
today.
I hope you're able to take

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00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:42,100
something away from this
discussion and to put it into

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00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:45,700
practice in your daily life and
to help others around you, you

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00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:49,500
help your family, your friends,
your colleagues, help strangers,

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00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:55,800
help all beings, and in helping
all beings, you become a

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00:26:55,800 --> 00:27:01,200
critical part of creating peace
in our lives.

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00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:07,200
In this world, world, and in
this universe, Big Talk big

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00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,300
goals but it's possible in its
real.

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00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,700
Thank you again.
I look forward to next week's

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00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:17,000
episode and I hope everybody has
a great week in a great weekend.

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00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:27,900
Take care.
Thank you for listening.

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00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:31,700
If you enjoyed this podcast and
want to hear more, please

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00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,600
subscribe, and share.
If you'd like to share your own

354
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,000
experiences thoughts or ask a
question.

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00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,300
Please send an email to Mike at
resonant.

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00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:45,300
Social with gratitude, theme
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00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:48,300
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00:27:48,308 --> 00:27:50,400
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