Episode 12 - Getting Off The Nail

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Welcome, you are listening to
the podcast, a Resident Life

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produced by the time is now
Productions.

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I am Mike Thompson, your host,
and reflector and chief.

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In this podcast, we will discuss
experiences and insights, from

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living a life devoted to
uncovering the authentic self.

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And finding fulfilling purpose
from the past, the present and

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the future.
This podcast is a product of my

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life and experience and I'll
share my opinions.

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Opinions between people are
various and we don't all need to

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hold the same ones, but it is
fun to hear the opinions of

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others as it gives us an
opportunity to freshen up our

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own.
If you enjoy and gain Insight

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from listening, Please
Subscribe.

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And share.
If you have questions, please

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email them.
And as always, nothing you hear

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here is a prescription or a
prescription.

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It is a discussion of life and
life's internal and external

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experiences.
So, let's get to it.

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And welcome, welcome to episode
12 of a resonant life.

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Today we're going to talk about
getting off the nail.

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Unsticking, mustering, courage,
and taking action to move

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forward toward a life of
increased happiness.

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Have you ever found yourself in
a situation?

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A circumstance, a job or a
relationship where you felt

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stuck?
Not just stuck but also

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miserable unfulfilled may be
taken advantage of But, despite

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all of that you couldn't muster
the energy or the will or the

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commitment to actually make a
change.

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So that's what we're going to
talk about today.

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We're going to talk about how to
muster the energy, the will and

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commitment to make a change and
in doing so improve, not only

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our own lives, but the lives of
those around us.

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So to discuss this, let's use a
story to get us going many of

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you may have heard this story
before and there's a number of

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different ways to tell it and
I'm going to tell it one way and

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then we're going to Riff Off Of
A variation of it a little bit

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later.
So this is the story of a dog.

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Sitting on his porch.
Next to his owner.

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His companion.
His companion is an old older

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fellow retired.
Just sitting on the porch,

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enjoying enjoying a nice spring
day and the dog next to him is

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howling.
And when he's not howling, he's

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whimpering and when he's not
whimpering he's just generally

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distressed.
And so walking down the street,

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is someone a neighbor and the
Neighbors on their way to work.

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And as they passed the porch,
they stopped because the dog is

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in obvious pain and is obviously
suffering and so the neighbor

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says to the fellow on the porch.
Hey excuse me, your dog, is he

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okay?
And the man on the porch says,

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well seems to be in some pain
there.

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And the guy walking to work
said, well, what's causing the

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pain?
What can we do?

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The man said well, dog, sitting
on a nail.

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And the person walking to work
said, well, why doesn't he get

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up off the nail?
And the man on the porch says,

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well, I guess it doesn't hurt
enough yet.

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So that story kind of sums up
how many of us through periods

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of Our Lives.
Get stuck mired in situations

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that are uncomfortable and
unhappy and in that that

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unhappiness in that discomfort.
Is like glue that?

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Prevents us from making any
action, taking any action to

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make change and often what we
end up doing is complaining.

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We complain and moan to
ourselves.

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We complain to our friends.
We complain to all those who

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will listen essentially our life
becomes sort of one of

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complaints.
And maybe our friends offer to

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help and maybe they offer advice
and maybe they offer suggestions

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and we just don't take those
suggestions, you know the

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response is.
Yeah yeah.

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Yeah.
I know I know I know but there's

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always something after the but
But whatever comes after the,

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but is nothing, that's
productive.

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It's nothing that moves you
forward.

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So if we're in bad situations in
our lives, whether it's

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personal, familial professional,
and job, We spend our time and

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energy being miserable.
We actually spend time and

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energy being miserable and
complaining.

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That is our activity, being
miserable and complaining and

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what that is psychologically and
spiritually.

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That is a self-centered feedback
loop.

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And stuck in a self-centered
feedback loop.

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There is no out.
It's just a cycle.

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Recycle recycle of negativity.
and if we're in that, Then we

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are not living to our full
potential is giving helping kind

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people as agents of happiness in
this world and we're not living

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an authentic self.
We're not being our authentic

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selves because all of the misery
and discomfort and unhappiness

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covers all of our authentic City
up.

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It's like mud over a shiny glass
ball.

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Can't see the shiny glass ball
because of the mud.

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How does one break out of this?
It's easy to talk about, it's

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easy to make suggestions.
It's all a lot harder to do.

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I'm going to use a personal
example, right from today,

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right?
From now.

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This is a small example, it's
not a life-changing example, but

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it I realized as I was going
through it that I was doing

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exactly what this podcast
episode is going to be about

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today.
I'm exhausted, I am tired.

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I am not motivated.
I just want to sit on the couch.

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Pick up a book and fall asleep
after the first line and cuddle

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with my dog and my cat.
That is literally all I Want to

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do, but I had set my goal today
to record this episode.

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But there I was I was not going
to do it.

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I was just kind of moaning about
being tired and exhausted.

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I was stuck in it.
And the only difference.

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Between me sitting on the couch
and being asleep right now

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versus me being right here and
doing this recording and talking

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to you.
The only difference was making a

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conscious decision to step
outside of my feedback loop.

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To break that cycle, it took
conscious deliberate concrete

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thought, followed by action.
Action is a Common Thread in all

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of our episodes.
So far of a resonant Life

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podcast.
And it's a thread that

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definitely cuts through or goes
through the fabric of

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uncovering, the authentic self
and becoming a person whom

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others, miss a person that
others want to be around a

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person that others can rely
upon.

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Action.
So to take action we first need

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to acknowledge we're in a
situation so if we're miserable

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if we're in a crummy job it with
a crummy boss and we're

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miserable and we're not going
anywhere.

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We have to own that.
Admit it and own it.

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And realize in that owning of it
that nothing will change.

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Unless we step outside of the
negative feedback loop going

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over and over in our heads, step
outside of that, make a plan.

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And then act on that plan.
So if it's a bad job, bad job

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situation.
What's the plan?

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The plan is to look for a new
job.

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Or the plan is to transfer
departments.

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So there are concrete things,
one can do to get a new job.

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Or to get a reassignment.
We don't need to go over those

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things here, but it's a matter
of doing it.

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Why would someone do it?
Why would they end up being just

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stuck?
Besides the power, the

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centrifugal force, the
centrifugal psychological force

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of the feedback loop which keeps
people stuck in.

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Addition to that, Is entropy.
We may be in a rut, but the rut

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is familiar.
And in its familiarity, it's

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safe, its secure, there's not a
lot of unknown in it.

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Now, this is a myth, this is a
myth that we tell ourselves all

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the time that that the familiar
is comfortable.

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And the making any kind of
change, breaking out of the

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familiar, familiar, introduces
risk and danger to our lives or

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situations.
This is actually a myth With.

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Because things happen to us all
the time, good and bad

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regardless of whether we're in a
rut or not.

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So we need to break that
equation in our minds.

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Of the familiar is safe, the
familiars better than the

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unknown.
And instead embrace the

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potential of something new
Mindset, our minds control our

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reality.
How we look at current

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situations.
And how we look to Alternatives

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shapes what we do, and how we
feel about these things.

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If we approach change and new
things with excitement and

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openness and a willingness to
really go for it, then, no

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matter what happens, it's going
to be a good experience.

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It's going to be a positive
experience.

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It's going to set a new normal.
If instead we look at new things

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as something scary and
frightening, And try to avoid

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them eventually, new things are
going to come and we're not

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going to be able to handle them
or not.

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Going to be able to take
advantage of the opportunities

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that are coming.
Our way.

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We're not going to be able to
take advantage of the

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opportunities that we might
actually be creating for

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ourselves or that others might
be creating for us.

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It's important to be positive
set.

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A positive mind frame, set a
positive mindset, look

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positively towards the future.
Set your heart, make your plan

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and take the first step.
Just doing that first step, just

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once.
It's going to change everything.

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And I might not stick and it
might not hold and you might not

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get the reward, you are hoping
for or the outcome that you are

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hoping for.
But at least you've done

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something and then the trick is
to take another step.

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Don't slide back, don't get back
into the negative feedback loop

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don't start complaining and just
resign yourself to being in

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misery or unhappiness or
unfulfillment keep taking steps.

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And you have taken all the steps
on your plan.

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Then expand your plan.
Take action.

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The other important element of
all of this of taking action of

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going forward of making, the
plan is to make it not just

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about you.
Try to have your goals, your

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plan, have it, infused with the
idea that if you go forward, if

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you get out of your rut, if you
try something new, then you are

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going to become a better
happier, more capable, more

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energetic, father, brother,
Mother wife, sister.

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Grandparents Friends, take your
pick.

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You're going to be a better,
everything.

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Whatever you are to anybody in
your life, you're going to be a

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better, everything.
And you'll become closer to

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being that person that others
miss that others want to be

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around.
You become a magnet for

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positivity, you bring it to you
and then you reflect it out.

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This is very appealing, getting
yourself into this kind of

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mindset and out of the rut. this
creates for you, a happier life

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and if you are happier, living a
more fulfilling life, Your

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relationships are going to
become also more fulfilling.

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They won't be as transactional.
They won't be as draining,

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You'll be able to give and
you'll be able to receive much

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more than you thought possible.
We have an infinite capacity for

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kindness.
In our hearts, we have an

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infinite capacity for happiness
and joy.

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It simply requires that we break
out of self-centered feedback

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loops and cycles and rots and
whatever other verbal metaphor

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you want to use break out of
those things and look positively

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towards the future.
Look positively towards the now.

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This opens you up and this
changes the dynamic of the

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relationship you have with the
world that you're in, with the

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life that you are living, you
become an actor and engaged

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agent in your life.
Being passive.

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Letting life do its thing to.
You is not a formula for

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happiness, nor a formula for
helping others and being

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available to help others.
And helping others is so

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critical is Sookie.
It's the foundation, the

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underpinning of all of this.
If we can't be available to help

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others, then we are not
fulfilling our potential.

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As people who are trying to
create more happiness in their

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lives, trying to uncover.
And develop their authentic

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selves.
We're already spiritually

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inclined to want to tap into
that Infinite Source of kindness

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and happiness and joy and share
that out.

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And once we can do that, we
become a resource a lighthouse

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for others.
Others that we might not even

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know the way we move through the
world changes the way.

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People see us changes even if we
don't know those people or see

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those people, haven't you ever
your I ever been grabbed by a

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person walking down the street?
And there's something about them

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and you're not sure what it is.
But you can't take your eyes off

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of them because there's
something really good that can

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be you.
That can be all of us. if we

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break the feedback loop and if
we get up off the nail, so, one

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variation on the story is The
man on the porch.

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Who's the companion of the dog
says, instead of HE sitting on a

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nail, he says he's always sat
there he sat there his whole

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life, but a nail came loose and
now it's poking him and it hurts

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and he doesn't get up that
version of the story really does

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focus on entropy and how we do
get into ruts.

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And so, it's important.
Also to look at your life from a

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perspective.
Let's say right now,

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everything's going fine for you.
This is second version of the

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story, is going to help you to
deepen your work on covering

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your authentic self.
Habits.

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Is sort of the nullifier of
light.

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It dims things routine and
habit, while comfortable, and

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while making life predictable
and often necessary to be able

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to get the day going and to get
out the door and to get

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everything happening that has to
happen and everybody doing what

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they need to be doing.
Sure routine is great for that,

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but we need to be conscious that
injecting little random changes

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little speed bumps little
sparkles.

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To that routine.
Not only keeps things fresh and

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keeps people tickled and amused.
It keeps the routine from

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becoming - it keeps the routine
from becoming a rut So it's

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important to not just keep doing
things the way we've always done

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them because that nail is
eventually going to be starting

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to stick up and it's the kind of
thing.

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It's like the Frog being boiled
alive.

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You put the frog in a pan of
water.

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Turn the heat on the frog.
Doesn't know it's getting hot

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until it's too late.
That's sort of how ruts creep up

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upon us out of routine.
Out of expectation.

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And so if we keep doing little
things to keep it fresh, maybe

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it's changing up what's for
breakfast.

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Maybe it's taking the kids to
school via bike instead of by a

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car.
Maybe it's giving your partner

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spouse breakfast in bed, a
little earlier.

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Maybe it's waking up early and
doing some meditation going out

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for a run.
Something you haven't done, just

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doing something different and
something.

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Different, not just for
yourself, but for those around

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you break up the routine, add
sparkles.

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Everybody loves sparkles. so
today, It's about getting off

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the nail.
Our lives are made measurably

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better when we change ourselves
are situations and

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circumstances.
And doing so steering toward

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altruistic actions and thoughts
action is getting up off the

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nail that causes us pain,
discomfort and unhappiness.

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And instead of remaining stuck
in complaining, we end up living

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with more joy and that Joy is
shared with others.

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That's a recipe for success.
That's a recipe for happiness.

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That's a recipe that's going to
make your life and everyone

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else's lives around, you better
and you become that person,

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others Miss whom others can rely
upon and makes your day your

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week, your year.
That much better.

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Thank you today for listening.
And I hope you've enjoyed this

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episode.
Please, as always email

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questions, suggestions thoughts
to Mike at resident dot social

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00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,300
and please subscribe the pot to
the podcast.

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00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:43,200
If you haven't share the
podcast, if you can, let's grow

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00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,800
the circle.
And let's talk again in about a

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week.
Thanks so much have a great

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week.