Episode 10 - The Focusing of Pain

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Welcome, you are listening to
the podcast, a resonant life

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produced.
By the time is now Productions.

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I am Mike Thompson, your host,
and reflector and chief.

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In this podcast, we will discuss
experiences and insights, from

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living a life devoted to
uncovering the authentic self.

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And finding fulfilling purpose
from the past, the present and

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the future.
This podcast is a product of my

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life and experience and I'll
share my opinions.

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Opinions between people are
various and we don't all need to

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hold the same ones, but it is
fun to hear the opinions of

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others as it gives us an
opportunity to freshen up our

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own.
If you enjoy and gain Insight

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And share.
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And as always, nothing you hear

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here is a prescription or a
prescription.

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It is a discussion of life and
life's internal and external

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experiences.
So, let's get to it.

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And welcome, welcome to another
episode of a resonant life.

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This is episode number 10, and
thank you for joining me today.

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And another discussion of how we
can uncover our authentic selves

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and live a life that's filled
with happiness and joy, not just

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for ourselves, but for all those
around us, Us and eventually all

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those in the world, it's
possible.

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Today, we're going to take a
little different track.

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And we're going to talk about
pain and illness and sort of the

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limiting constricting narrowing
nature of pain and illness or

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rather the construction that
pain and illness.

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Cause Us in terms of our ability
and capacity to be magnanimous,

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and be expansive, and to be
outgoing, and to be open.

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And to extend ourselves. think
we've all had experiences of

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pain and or illness where you
sort of want to just curl up

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into a ball and block everything
out until it all goes away, it's

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very natural reaction.
In fact, most animals when they

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are injured and in pain or are
ill, that's a exactly what they

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do.
They curl up into a ball and

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some safe secluded spot and try
to heal But as human beings, we

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have a different capacity.
We have different abilities, we

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have more responsibility to help
other people to be available, to

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other people.
Whether that's family like our

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children.
We can't just curl up into a

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ball and ignore our children.
Or if we have elderly parents

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depending upon us, we can't let
them fend for themselves.

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And we've got our project, our
project to uncover the authentic

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self.
And if pain is limiting, this

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preventing us from doing the
things we need to do the

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physical action related things,
as well as the mental emotional

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and intellectual things, if pain
is limiting that then we're not

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moving forward.
We're not making progress on

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this endeavor.
Pain and illness, they narrow

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our scope, and our capacity for
engaged outgoing compassion.

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Another thing that has the same
effect is toxic people in our

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lives or toxic situations.
Toxic environments.

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These things also narrow us, but
today we're going to focus on

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pain and illness will take on
toxicity in another another

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episode.
It deserves its own.

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So the flip side of this is our
natural reaction when we're in

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pain, is to basically mobilize
and to do nothing.

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So, as to make the pain worse,
so when we're in pain, our

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natural reaction is to just turn
inward to avoid doing anything

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to avoid moving to avoid
interacting as much as possible,

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but turning that around, Doing
the opposite becomes something.

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That is a very powerful tool to
move ourselves forward in our

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project of uncovering, the
authentic self and becoming more

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compassionate, and engaged
people in the world around us

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becoming people who are of
benefit becoming people that

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others rely upon becoming people
at others Miss and wants to have

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in their lives.
So how how do we do this pain

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can be used to loosen and relax
our minds.

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So we don't often imagine our
minds as separate from our

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bodies.
We think of i as the composite

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of body and mind.
But really the body.

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While the vessel of the mind
isn't the mind.

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The body isn't who we are.
The body isn't me or I and so.

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If we can identify pain.
Or illness as something that is

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afflicting, the body.
We're already taking a step

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towards creating a little bit of
distance between blending, the

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pain own us, a little distance
between letting the pain

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dominate our consciousness This
is an important first step.

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If I'm in pain, my first step
really in not just overcoming

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the pain, but using the pain,
the first step is acknowledging

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that I am not the pain.
Rather, my body is experiencing

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pain.
It's a subtle difference, but

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it's a conscious effort to
separate out and to pull my mind

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away from being controlled and
dominated by physical

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Sensations.
Bye-bye.

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Nerves telling my brain that
there's great pain and to stop

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doing and change Retreat,
whatever it might be.

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I'm pushing that back and
saying, I understand body that

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you are suffering right now, but
that suffering doesn't need to

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control my mind, my awareness,
my consciousness.

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And so we create a separation, a
conscious separation between the

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body which has pain and our
minds, which is Who We Are.

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And with that separation.
That lack of Association, even a

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lack of affinity then.
There's a little bit of

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distance, a little bit of
objectivity where we can look at

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the pain as something which
wants to roll over us, like the

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tide coming in on a beach but
something which we can rise

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above.
And in Rising above it, we

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maintain control and conscious
awareness of ourselves that is

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different from that.
And in that, we become more open

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again to being available to
others.

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So, let's break this down a
little more.

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So we're going to take the step
back, separate the pain in the

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body, from who we are from our
minds.

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Look at it, objectively.
If we don't associate with it.

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If we don't let it Dominate and
control us, then while it still

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hurts in a while.
We want to limit movement or do

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any we want to avoid anything
that might increase the pain.

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We get.
Control of our minds back.

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We're not the victim of the pain
anymore.

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And in doing that.
There are two open Pathways to

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expanding our mind and becoming
more compassionate people.

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One pathway is one of affinity
and empathy.

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If you're able to look at your
pain and the suffering it causes

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you, it gives you an opportunity
to think there are other people

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in pain as well.
And they must be suffering badly

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is badly or even more badly than
I am. and it gives you a new

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appreciation for the lives of
people who, Don't have the

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control of their life that you
might have, or that you possibly

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could have this creates an
opportunity for compassion, it

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plants a seed of compassion, for
others, so that you become more

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sensitive to the situation of
other people.

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For example, how many times have
you encountered, a person who is

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Gruff or abrasive or rude?
And it kind of gets you upset or

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irritated and you wonder what
did I do to them?

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Well it's quite possible that
person is living with pain that

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you don't see, you don't know
about and they don't have the

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ability to step back from it and
instead it controls them and

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their personality and their
behavior in the world.

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Stepping back from it. you
yourself can then become more

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compassionate towards people who
previously, irritated, you

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because of their gruffness or
their rudeness So this pathway

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is an opportunity to expand your
compassion for others and to

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treat others with more
Equanimity because you might

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have something in common with
them and you might see yourself

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in them in that maybe you're a
little cranky and Gruff as well.

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When you're in pain at least
previously, before you try these

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exercises before you try this,
Effort to separate yourself from

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your pain.
And in becoming more

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compassionate to others.
This creates a different sort of

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frame of mind where the painting
becomes even less.

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Dominating I recall one time I
had a horrible horrible.

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Bout of pain in my right, hip in
the upper right hip.

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And I, literally, if I made the
wrong move, it was as if I was

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being jolted with a thousand
volts of electricity and I would

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just freeze and shake and tremor
for a few seconds.

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And then as that bolt of
electricity released, then

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there, I was just Frozen with
Agony.

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And I remember, I was flying To
another city on a business trip.

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And I was sitting next to a
woman and every time she jostle

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me this, cause this pain and my
initial reaction was like, Jesus

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person, stop bumping me.
I'm suffering here.

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And instead of getting lost in
that, - feeling that negative

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mindset and feeling negative
towards that person.

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A stranger I was able to pull
back a little bit from the pain

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and instead recognize that the
person next to me was probably

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very uncomfortable in their own
right?

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And whatever was going on with
them.

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Certainly had nothing to do with
wanting to cause me discomfort

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or pain.
We were just two people onto

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small and aircraft going from
point A to point B. this

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example, might seem trivial or
trite, but for me, it was a real

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kind of Awakening because I'd
been suffering through this pain

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and it had just come to dominate
my existence and this moment,

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Allowed me to to step back and
to learn from this process of

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stepping back and to instead of
being irritated with the person

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next to me, increasing my
discomfort in my pain, it

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allowed me to just go.
This is just a person doing

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their very best in their life to
do, whatever it is they want to

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do.
They have no ill will or

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negative intentions toward me.
So there's no reason for me to

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get all worked up about this.
So this, this seemingly trivial

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moment, Was was a big step for
me in terms of exploring

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possibilities of how to use the
pain. to deepen, my compassion,

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to deepen, my empathy, and to,
rather than turning inward to

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turn outward and to extend
myself, so, the other pathway

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that I mentioned, One way is to
expand our compassion and our

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empathy.
The other pathway is of using

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pain is to use it like a lens to
focus on our minds.

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The focusing of pain, the
focusing potential of pain and

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this is taking our first step a
little further.

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Actually, quite a lot further of
getting that little bit of

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distance between our bodies that
are in pain and our minds.

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So spiritual Seekers throughout
The centuries have used

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austerities to deepen their
spirituality, to elevate their

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minds to seek Enlightenment,
whatever.

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Whatever that is.
The you've got the Indian sadhus

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who might starve themselves or
survive on only a grain of rice.

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or who insert sharp objects,
through various parts of their

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skin or Japanese Seekers who
climb mountains in the freezing

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cold, to get to a shrine or
Temple, to make prayers and

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wandering mendicants, who just
live lives of deprivation, or

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those who do, cold water,
ablutions in freezing water, the

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idea being the build physical
Cole stamina to build physical,

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determination, to use the
physicality, to deepen, one's

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spiritual, mind, and nature, and
potential, and to uncover

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wisdom.
So what's operating through

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this?
Why would why?

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Why go through the effort of
causing discomfort causing pain,

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starvation, whatever it might
be.

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It's because In the moment of
the physical suffering.

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One has the opportunity to
separate the mind and to realize

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that the body is the body, it's
the vessel carrying the mind.

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The vessel is there.
Not to control contain constrain

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the Mind.
Rather the vessel is there, so

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that the mind can expand.
Its really a matter of your

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mind, taking charge of your
body.

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As we recognize that the body is
the vessel and the mind is what

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is actually in control.
The mind is who we are the core

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of I or me. then this from a
Buddhist perspective, in

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particular helps us to loosen
attachment loosen attachment to

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our body, loosen attachment to
objects, loosen attachment to

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all kinds of things that hinder
and constrain and restrain us

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from becoming the most
compassionate open helpful

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people that we can be So the
focusing of pain in being able

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to separate those things and
being able to use pain zero in

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on it.
See it see where it is in the

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body visualize how it is
isolated and focused.

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And that in, looking at it.
You're not it.

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That becomes clearer and
clearer.

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The more you do it, the more you
focus and as you realize that

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you are not it.
That creates opportunities for

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you to expand again.
As you were before, the pain

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took over and then to expand
even further because You've been

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able to see and use the pain as
a spark of compassion to

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recognize pain and others and
how it might be affecting others

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to recognize how illness might
be affecting other people and

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constraining them.
And in that compassion when

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somebody is rude to you or Gruff
for whatever you're able to

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instead of reacting negatively,
you're able to think.

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Ah so this person might just be
suffering and you extend a

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prayer to them.
You express you extend a well

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wish you extend kindness in the
face of rudeness.

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Doing the opposite of our
visceral reactions is always the

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path to the authentic self.
So, as I said, looking at paying

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this way will loosen and relax
our minds.

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Because we become more
expansive.

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If we're not controlled by the
pain. now, the fact of the

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matter is, the body still in
pain, Now hopefully the body

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will heal and mend and the pain
will lessen and go away and that

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will carry forward the lessons
that we learned with that.

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But in for some people, the pain
is a constant and it is always

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there.
And in those situations this is

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a practice that needs to be
maintained and sustained and

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built upon daily work on looking
at the pain and separating

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oneself from the pain and
looking outward and looking how

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As a compassionate person, you
might be able to help others

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more make yourself more
available to others despite the

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pain.
Truly pain and illness.

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Are potentially a gift in that
they help us move forward.

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If we look at them the right
way.

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Pain and illness can help us
move forward and become people

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more authentic.
More compassionate more able to

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help others.
Instead of being under the

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control of physical Sensations
and discomfort, we take control

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of the physical discomfort and
Sensations and use them as fuel.

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And inspiration. to improve
ourselves and to create

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happiness, with the people
around us, rather than misery

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being a person who's reacting
from pain is a person who's

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probably not making others
around them, happy or

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comfortable. because, Being at
the mercy of pain and illness,

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makes us that person who's Gruff
and rude and short-tempered and

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unkind.
And that's not who we want to be

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in that snot who we actually
are.

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That's not our Natural State.
Our natural state Is that of an

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enlightened being Buddha?
Everything else is piled upon

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it, covering that up.
That's why we talked about

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uncovering.
The authentic self, the

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authentic self is are
enlightened selves and so

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overcoming pain and discomfort.
It's like peeling away layer

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after layer.
After layer of all the junk,

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that is covering up.
Our true natures.

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Ultimate compassionate, kind and
generous people.

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There are those who don't
believe that, that's the true

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nature of individuals and
beliefs our beliefs.

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And as we said in the intro
opinions will vary but it is

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truly my belief. and I've seen
this in my own life and I've

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seen this in the lives of others
that When we let our best shine,

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when we remove the stuff that
keeps us down and holds us back

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the discomfort, the pain, the
wants the the attachments, the

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disappointments, whatever.
It might be any negativity when

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we strip that stuff away.
There's just happiness and joy

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and gratitude underneath and
that is something that we are

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able to share because it's
infinite and sharing it.

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Brings light and joy to other
people as well.

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So, use pain and illness to
focus to focus on freeing your

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mind.
And removing the stains that

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cover up your most beautiful
wonderful precious self.

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So, thank you for listening.
And I hope that you're able to

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take away something.
From today, I'm always open to

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hearing from you and to getting
your suggestions and your

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thoughts and your feedback.
So please feel free to email at

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Mike at resonant dot social and
I look forward to sharing more

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with you in the next episode.
Also please note that there's a

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sub stack now called resonant
life.

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Dotsub stack.com and there will
be periodic articles as well as

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almost daily, little positive
thoughts to consider and to help

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you get through your day and to
bring light to yourselves and to

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others throughout your days.
Thank you very much.